CONVERSATIONS
by Sexy Lama
Summary: Hey this is just a bunch of one-shot conversation chapters. Please R & R - This was done by me and my friend Fezbow durring class so WARNING! - M for safety!
1. The Doctor & TARDIS

**A/N:** Hey guys this is just a bunch of one shots me and friend did durring class, well we randomly did this and then we're like lets keep going. So it'll be a whole bunch of characters and random convo's will let you know when it the last one! Hope you enjoy

- Sexy Lama + Friend

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The Doctor sat on the railing of the TARDIS gazing at the middle of the TARDIS.

"Hello" said a voice.

"Hello" The Doctor replied pushing off the railing.

"What's your name?" the voice asked.

"Doctor" The Doctor replied walking around.

"Doctor Who?" the voice questioned.

"Exactly" The Doctor replied stopping at the doors.

"TARDIS" the voice replied.

"So wait you're the TARDIS?" The Doctor questioned turning around.

"Qui" TARDIS replied.

"Hello sexy" The Doctor replied walking towards the centre of the TARDIS.

"Why thank you" TARDIS replied lighting up a bit more.

"Let us travel!" The Doctor said running to the controls.

"Where?" TARDIS asked.

"Through time and space" The Doctor informed it.

"Wibbly Wobbly Timey Whimy Stuff?" TARDIS asked.

"Exactly" The Doctor replied.

"Make sure you leave the break off" TARDIS said firmly.

"But that's no fun" The Doctor replied.

"Fine, get on with it" TARDIS replied followed by a sigh.

"TO BARCELONA!" The doctor shouted! The TARDIS began to make a noise and shake.

"I have always wanted a dog with no nose" The Doctor stated.

"I want a horse with no face" TARDIS replied.

"I wonder how jack is" The Doctor said taking a seat.

"Dead" TARDIS replied.

"BUT THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!" The Doctor protested.

"He's just a face" TARDIS replied.

"No!" The Doctor wailed.

"I will kick you out" TARDIS told him flinging open the door and then shutting them.

"That would be the best ending ever" The Doctor concluded.

"Then you get eaten" TARDIS joked.

"Hmmm how to explain the complexity of space. I thought I wouldn't need to your a TARDIS" The Doctor sighed.

"Doctor I think I might be a homosexual" TARDIS said.

"You're a TARDIS you have no sex but why?" The Doctor replied.

"RAINBOW" TARDIS said suddenly the whole inside of the TARDIS became rainbow.

"Well that's a good reason" The Doctor replied.

"Throw the cheese" TARDIS yelled and a piece of cheese threw straight at the Doctor and in to his mouth and he began to chew.

"Ooh new teeth that's weird now where were we oh yes Barcelona" The Doctor said swallowing the cheese.

"Or that planet I can't say!" TARDIS said joyfully.

**"**Raxacoricofallapatorius" The Doctor said perfectly.

"Qui that one" TARDIS agreed.

"Why are you suddenly French, I can be French" The Doctor questioned.

"I AM YOUR FARTHER" TARDIS broke to him.

"Noo!" The Doctor wailed.

"How's River?" TARDIS said changing subject.

"Spoilers" The Doctor warned.

"I'm a TARDIS I know the spoilers" TARDIS stated.

"Then why did you ask?" The Doctor asked.

"Because I'm cool" TARDIS replied.

"Like bowties" The Doctor said holding his bowtie.

"My point exactly" TARDIS said.

"You're my best friend" The Doctor said giving an air hug.

"And you're a pedo" TARDIS concluded.

"Hey just cause I am over 100" The Doctor replied.

"I am older that you" TARDIS reminded him.

"You're a box" The Doctor reminded it.

"A sexy box" TARDIS reminded him.

"Dam right" The Doctor agreed, suddenly TARDIS made a woosh sound.

"Why the woosh?" The Doctor asked.

"Cause you leave the brakes on" TARDIS complained

"But it sounds so cool" The Doctor stated.

"But it hurts but it is cool to" TARDIS said.

"I'm a stegosaurus" The Doctor said.

"Off course you are sweaty" TARDIS said in a river impression.

"DON'T STEEL RIVERS LINES!" The Doctor procrastinated.

"Hello mine turtle" TARDIS said.

"Hello" Mine Turtle replied.

"What the hell where did that come from?" The Doctor asked looking down at the mine turtle.

"Don't step on it or you'll blow us up" TARDIS warned.

"Pics or it didn't happen" The Doctor said.

"Die Potato" TARDIS said.

"Not today" The Doctor replied stepping forward. Suddenly there was a large BOOM!

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**A/N:** Hey guy's I hope you liked it please Review! More comming soon next chapter should be up maybe wednesday i wont have a 3rd chapter for a bit cause i dont see my friend till the 17th and then the week after is holidays so sorry if there aren't any more chapters but we try to write 2 everyday so you should make it through the holidays going to try for 1 everyday or every 2 - 3 days.

- Sexy Lama + Friend


	2. The Doctor & Jack

**A/N: Hey soz i haven't updated in a while here's another one! more to come i have 2 more to post. Please Review!  
- Sexy Lama and Fezbow**

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The Doctor walked up to Jack who was sitting on the park bench.

"Hey Jack" The Doctor said.

"Sup Doctor" Jack replied getting up from the bench.

"Area 51?" The Doctor replied looking around.

"Why are you talking about my house?" Jack asked, they began to walk towards a shop.

"I'm all dazed and confused" The Doctor replied.

"Score 1 for team torchwood" Jack replied as they walked up to a counter.

"FISH FINGURES AND CUSTART!" The Doctor said with glee.

"Are you trying to tell me something?" Jack asked as the doctor grabbed his bowl of fish figures and custard.

"Maybe" The Doctor replied as they walked away.

"Is that a banana in your pocket? Or are you just happy to see me?" Jack asked looking down towards the Doctors pocket.

"Hey I like Banana's! We should start a talk show!" The Doctor replied.

"I bet you do and we shall call it Doctor Wood" Jack told him.

"And I shall be the star" The Doctor said pushing imaginary curtains as if he were walking through them.

"I'd get behind you any day Doctor" Jack replied doing the same.

**"**Sorry Sexy called dibs" The Doctor informed him.

"I can share" Jack pointed out.

"Try Rose, she's got the _hots" _The Doctor suggested.

"I may be talented but I can't go to another dimension" Jack replied.

"She's the bad wolf" The Doctor said throwing out his bowl.

"Does she bite?" Jack asked.

"A little, too much of sexy is left in her" The Doctor replied.

"I heard she likes biting, it's like kissing but there's a winner ... not that I think about that." Jack said quickly.

"Had experience have we?" The Doctor asked giving him a small nudge.

"I have had experience with everything" Jack replied give him a small nudge.

"Yes you have, how's the face?" The Doctor asked turning to walk backwards.

"It's good; I see you've got a new one" Jack said pointing at his face.

"Yes River and I had a small argument on who kills Hitler" The Doctor replied.

"How has that got anything to do with the face?" Jack asked confused.

"She killed me, then brought me back" The Doctor explained.

"The power of the kiss" Jack said gazing at the sky for a short moment.

"Don't ever kiss her when she's in a bad mood" The Doctor warned.

"I'll keep that in mind next time I see her" Jack assured him as the came to a holt in front of the TARDIS.

"Yes you will now if you excuse me sexy is calling me. We have all of the time and space to explore." The Doctor said.

"Whatever float your boat Doctor" Jack said turning to walk away.

"Who? Oh me, yes well allons-y" The Doctor said opening the door and stepping inside.

The Doctor walked up to Jack who was sitting on the park bench.

"Hey Jack" The Doctor said.

"Sup Doctor" Jack replied getting up from the bench.

"Area 51?" The Doctor replied looking around.

"Why are you talking about my house?" Jack asked, they began to walk towards a shop.

"I'm all dazed and confused" The Doctor replied.

"Score 1 for team torchwood" Jack replied as they walked up to a countor.

"FISH FINGURES AND CUSTART!" The Doctor said with glee.

"Are you trying to tell me something?" Jack asked as the doctor grabbed his bowl of fish fingures and custurd.

"Maybe" The Doctor replied as they walked away.

"Is that a banana in your pocket? Or are you just happy to see me?" Jack asked looking down towards the Doctors pocket.

"Hey I like Banana's! We should start a talk show!" The Doctor replied.

"I bet you do and we shall call it Doctor Wood" Jack told him.

"And I shall be the star" The Doctor said pushing imaginary curtins as if he were walking through them.

"I'd get behind you any day Doctor" Jack replied doing the same.

**"**Sorry Sexy called dibs" The Doctor informed him.

"I can share" Jack pointed out.

"Try Rose, she's got the _hots" _The Doctor surgested.

"I may be talented but I can't go to another dimension" Jack replied.

"She's the bad wolf" The Doctor said throughing out his bowl.

"Does she bite?" Jack asked.

"A little, too much of sexy is left in her" The Doctor replied.

"I heard she likes biting, it's like kissing but there's a winner ... not that I think about that." Jack said quickly.

"Had experience have we?" The Doctor asked giving him a small nudge.

"I have had experience with everything" Jack replied give him a small nudge.

"Yes you have, how's the face?" The Doctor asked turning to walk backwards.

"It's good; I see you've got a new one" Jack said pointing at his face.

"Yes River and I had a small argument on who kills Hitler" The Doctor replied.

"How has that got anything to do with the face?" Jack asked confused.

"She killed me, then brought me back" The Doctor explained.

"The power of the kiss" Jack said gazing at the sky for a short moment.

"Don't ever kiss her when she's in a bad mood" The Doctor warned.

"I'll keep that in mind next time I see her" Jack assured him as the came to a holt infront of the TARDIS.

"Yes you will now if you excuse me sexy is calling me. We have all of the time and space to explore." The Doctor said.

"Whatever float your boat Doctor" Jack said turning to walk away.

"Who? Oh me, yes well allons-y" The Doctor said opening the door and stepping inside.

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**A/N: Hey thanxs for reading please review! Stay tuned for chapter 3!  
. **

**- Sexy Lama and Fezbow**


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